Americans don’t know how to party, Trinidad native says

Shelley-Ann Cullen has been a New Hampshire resident for almost three decades, but cultural differences between her home country of Trinidad and America still get the best of her at times.

“The food, oh my gosh, don’t get me started on the food. It’s very bland here,” the Danbury resident told The Granite Post. “Even the Chinese food is bland here. I’m accustomed to walking into a restaurant in Trinidad, and I don’t have to add salt or pepper or anything like that.”

Cullen, a portfolio manager at the Bank of New Hampshire, moved to Massachusetts after she met her husband online and decided to start a life with him here. 

“I met my husband through the internet and this was the very first time that Trinidad had started this new thing with the internet and it was taking off,” she said, adding that the couple moved to New Hampshire because they thought the public school system was better there. “We started talking on the phone, and then I made a trip here, and then the rest is history. We’re still married 26 years now.”

Moving to New Hampshire, Cullen never really saw people like her around. She did run into people from the Caribbean every now and then, but they were mostly from Jamaica, she said. 

Even finding diverse spaces was a rarity, she said, adding that in her professional space, she is the only Trinidadian she knows. 

New Hampshire does have pockets of diversity, but it’s all amidst a predominantly white population, she said. 

“I’ll never forget, we were going on vacation down to Virginia and we were stopping through Connecticut and that was the first time I saw so many Black people at once,” she said, reminiscing about her vacation from almost two decades ago.

But three years ago, she attended a professional women in business conference in Bedford for work, and that’s where Cullen was “surprised to see women of color.”

“I went and I introduced myself to them after that,” said Cullen, who is the government committee chair at the Business Alliance for People of Color in New Hampshire (BAPOC). “And one of the ladies was telling me that, ‘Hey, you should come see what we’re about at the business alliance.’”

BAPOC is a New Hampshire-based organization that promotes and advocates for minority-owned businesses in the state and helps them share resources to aid in financial and social growth.  

“I became a member, and it’s history from then,” she said. “I met all these wonderful strong women of color. Most of them, of course, are Americans who were [born here] or they came here when they were very young.”

Cullen said that while she can adapt in any environment, she always tries to maintain a Trinidadian edge (her car’s license plate says Caribbean on it). And that’s why she never felt the need to change her accent, she said.

“Of course I adjusted it over the years and just saw what other people and cultures were doing,” she said. “But at the end of the day, I blend in and become unique. I don’t want to be like everybody else.”

A hardcore Trini at heart, Cullen says the party culture back home is unmatched. She still doesn’t get why Americans eat hamburgers and hot dogs at their barbecues, she said jokingly. 

“Even with a barbecue in Trinidad, when you go into a barbecue, there’s chicken, there’s beef. I mean literally a barbecue with nice meats and juices and flavors.”

She said once when her son—then in middle school—came back from a party, her biggest concern was to probe into the kind of music his son was listening to with his friends.

“I asked him what the music was like,” she said laughing. “He thought I was crazy, and said, ‘what are you talking about?’ It was just Five Guys and video games…’

“That’s not a party. A party is supposed to involve music, dancing and sharing moves.”

Once an avid party person, Cullen is now busy with family life, and furthering diversity in the region through her work.

“I did my parties, I played carnival. ‘Do I miss those things?,’ ” she said. “No. That was the time that I’m doing that. I’m now in a different chapter in my life doing other things, being on boards, doing other stuff.”

But does she miss the food? 

“Oh my gosh, here we go again with the food,” she said, chuckling.