Welcome to our weekly advice column, courtesy of Grace: She’s the big sister who shares her own mistakes so you can avoid making them, the coworker who builds you up to ask for the raise you deserve, and the friend who is always happy to listen.
We all need someone like Grace in our corner. Submit your own questions here.
Dear Grace,
I am marrying the love of my life in a couple of months! Until now, everything has gone perfectly, and I’ve been SO excited. We are writing our own vows, we love our venue, and my sister and I DIYed a bunch of the signs and table settings.
The only major issue is that now, I don’t think my parents can come. My sister and I are both citizens, but my parents have not become citizens yet after immigrating here. My whole life, I have watched them balance working full-time and raising us with immigration interviews and doing mountains of paperwork late into the night.
Last month, my mom and dad had to go back to their home country because my Grandma was getting surgery and needed help, but now their green card process is delayed, and they can’t come back until they get new papers. This could take months or years. This wasn’t supposed to happen, their lawyer told them it would be fine.
I’ve been crying ever since they told me. My mom was supposed to give a speech. My dad was supposed to walk me down the aisle. If they can’t be there, it won’t be right. My fiancé has been really nice and supportive, but he can’t fix it.
Should we cancel the wedding? I don’t know what to do.
— Devastated Bride-To-Be, West Texas
Dear Devastated,
Oh friend, I am so sorry you’re going through this. Planning a wedding is hard enough—sticking to a budget, choosing the right cake, managing family drama. And now, on top of everything, you’re being told your parents might not be able to come because of some immigration red tape? That’s just plain heartbreaking and unfair. At the end of the day, weddings are supposed to be full of joy, not bad news and government paperwork.
Let’s take this one step at a time so we can figure out how to keep your heart in the day…